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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24766141">Leif's Extraordinary Freak Out</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAuthor44/pseuds/TheAuthor44'>TheAuthor44</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 07:14:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>963</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24766141</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAuthor44/pseuds/TheAuthor44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Set during 1x11 - After Joan leaves him all alone on the 5th floor, what is there left for Leif to do but freak out.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Leif Donnelly/Joan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>ZEP Freak Out for Discord</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Leif's Extraordinary Freak Out</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This was a really fun diverge from my usual stuff. So thank you gwritesforfun for suggesting it! <br/>love for the Discord fam always &lt;3<br/>Hope you enjoy my contribution to the FreakOut Collection!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As Joan turned to leave the 5<sup>th</sup> floor, Leif counted her every step until she was in the elevator. He had to do something to keep his emotions at bay, or otherwise there was nothing keeping him from looking around for some sort of power tool to help end his misery. What a fool he had been to think that Joan would appreciate corporate espionage – she was better than that. She was an angel. But not his angel … not anymore. Suddenly Leif’s heart sunk even lower inside his chest, feeling as though it was sitting in his stomach. If this is what following your heart gets you, then it was better off getting corroded by acid than beating in his chest.</p>
<p>“How could I have been so stupid!” Leif said kicking a nearby tarp on the floor.</p>
<p>His eyes blurred as fresh tears fell, unable to keep them at bay anymore. The lump in his throat felt like a permanent fixture as it choked his sobs. Why should he think he ever deserved a woman like Joan? He could hear his father’s voice now…</p>
<p>
  <em>What the hell made you think a woman like that would take you seriously? </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>You - who couldn’t even get a simple promotion. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>She probably only slept with you out of pity and what did you do? </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>You squandered it! </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>You couldn’t even do that right! </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Why would anyone ever want to love you?</em>
</p>
<p>Smacking his hand against his head, Leif tried to get his father’s voice to leave him alone. But it was as unrelenting as the man himself.</p>
<p>
  <em>You are an embarrassment to this family.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Look at how your brothers are succeeding.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Why is that so hard for you to do?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Maybe I’ll get lucky and you’re not even mine.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Then I can finally let go the weight of this constant disappointment. </em>
</p>
<p>Leif collapsed on the floor, emotionally exhausted. He had found a slight reprieve in Joan’s love – which he now realized he never actually had. But the delusion was nice while it lasted. What else did he have that gave him that? Nothing. Not even his friendship with Tobin could save him from this unending pain.</p>
<p>When he felt a slight breeze chill the tears streaming down his face, Leif looked and saw that one of the windows hadn’t been put in yet. It was just a hole covered by a clear tarp, which had come loose on one corner. Leif was mesmerized as he watched it flap in the wind, wondering how many gusts it would take for the rest of that side to come off … and then another … and then another.</p>
<p>Before he knew what he was doing, Leif found his feet moving towards the window. His trance continued, tracing his fingers over the tarp, grabbing at it ever so gently. Looking down he could see the world moving on below. How dare they continue and ignore his pain. How dare the earth turn, the cars drive, the people walk – all without giving him a second glance. If he wanted, he could jump down and destroy their perfect little worlds - the way his just was.</p>
<p>Leif cringed internally when he realized what Joan must think of him now. He sang his feelings to her. He felt sick at the thought, and how Joan had looked at him today didn’t help. Her eyes were filled with nothing but pity. Well he didn’t need it! He was Leif Donnelly, coder extraordinaire! Anyone would be lucky to have him.</p>
<p>But there was nowhere else he’d ever want to work.</p>
<p>SPRQ Point gave him the best chance to make something of himself. And Leif would be damned if he lost claim to The Chirp the way he lost Joan.</p>
<p>Joan …</p>
<p>Suddenly memories played like they were being projected into the forefront of his mind. The way her lips felt when they kissed. The way her hair smelled when it fell onto his face. The soft gasp she would make when he scraped his teeth across her earlobe. Everything flooded his mind all at once, making him beat his fist against his head again just to get them out. He just wanted to be free of the pain. He’d rather never feel again then live like this any longer.</p>
<p>Unless… he could somehow get her back. After all, she’d said they were a bad idea multiple times, coming back to him for more after every one. Maybe he could get her back. He needed her back. She was the only one to show him any kindness. Even while breaking his heart she was gentle.</p>
<p><em>I need her.</em> Leif thought to himself. <em>I need her. She has to come back to me. She has to. She’s the only way I’ll ever be happy again.</em> <em>It might take some time…</em></p>
<p>Leif truly believed that he could get Joan to come back to him … someday. He just had to stay close. Out of sight out of mind was not an option; he did <em>not</em> want to take that chance. Maybe someday just being near her would give him enough happiness to survive until she realized her mistake.</p>
<p>Leif quickly wiped the tears from his eyes, straightening out his clothes so he looked presentable again. That was enough emotion for one day. Actually, it was more than enough for his entire life. As he walked to the elevator, he felt himself return to normal. He had a plan in place now, and he didn’t care how long it took. One day he would be with Joan and it would be as equals; he would make sure of that. Until then, it was back to work. Stepping into the elevator Leif pressed the button for the 4<sup>th</sup> floor.</p>
<p>Time to go back home.</p>
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